Change

Hello all!

Happy Saturday and early Christmas! Hopefully you have some snow on the ground (we don't) and hopefully you are done with your Christmas shopping (which I haven't even started yet). However, Christmas is more than simply snow and presents, it's a time to be with family and celebrate the birth of Jesus (unless you're not religious, then never mind). So whatever your plans may be for the upcoming week, I hope that you all have a wonderful day.

As the semester ends and I'm back home (yay!), I have to readjust and experience change (of course, this change isn't nearly as tough because I've grown accustomed to it). Change is always a challenge for me--as it is for a lot of people. Change is one of those things that I need to process in advance (although it'll never be soon enough) or I'll need to initiate it in order for me to be comfortable with it; otherwise, I get really anxious and start to freak out over a billion (and unrealistic) possibilities. When things are set or there is a routine, I don't like them to change. I like to know what is going to happen or what to expect (not all the time, but a fair amount), that way I can go in with the right mindset. I do enjoy surprises (most of the time), but I don't like change.

Maybe it's because I like being in control (shocker!) and I like to plan everything (I know, you're surprised again) that I struggle with change. I don't like that it throws a kink in my plans or that I need to change previous set plans/goals. I feel like everything is going to change and usually for the worst (which is ironic because I'm such a positive and optimistic person (well, maybe you don't think it's ironic, imaginary readers, but I do)). I'm not sure why I associate change with negativity, but it probably has to do with my intense need to plan/control my life.

And when there is a change, my heart usually starts pounding into my chest and I will probably go get some air or get some exercise. It's usually the big changes that result in me freaking out: a change in living arrangements, change in routine, change within groups, etc. Or I'll do my classic response: avoid it for as long as possible until I am forced to face it. (I don't encourage anyone to do that, but if you do, take up running. It's great for your health.)

I like tradition. I like being able to know what will happen in the future and what to expect. So when I don't know what to expect and am not comfortable, that's when I start to freak out. Here's the thing, though, I like parts of change. The parts that I can control. I like experiencing new things or trying something new, but I definitely like keeping things the same.

Change isn't bad. Change is actually really good and much needed! Change helps us grow as people because we experience new things and learn! People change, environment changes, classes change, traditions change, everything changes! It's part of life! And it's okay.

But, right now, as I panic and have about a billion irrational thoughts run through my head, I'm going to go on a walk and breath. Get some (chilly) air, stretch my legs, continue to freak out, and then I'll feel better. I know that change is a key component in life and it's going to be okay, but I'll still be really anxious for a while.

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

Love,

Katie