Guess what, friends? It is BEAUTIFUL outside! Sunny, hot, humid (not a fan (I made a joke, did someone else get that?!)), and absolutely lovely. So, being Katie, I sat outside and did my homework at my picnic table. (Yes, I do have a picnic table that I have claimed because it's in a perfect spot and I love it.) Of course, being Katie, I got burned, but it was so worth it! And who doesn't love embarrassing and awkward tan lines?!
This post was going to be about negativity, but I'm in a really good mood, so instead we're gonna do a reflection about how crazy life is/the last year. I was nervous and anxious about returning back to school after being gone for a while and it brought back a lot of stress. After being back on campus and beginning training for orientation, I realized how silly those fears were.
Training for orientation was incredible. (Okay, minus all of the meetings and seminars that we had in preparation for it...) The other orientation leaders were so open and friendly and there were so many relationships that were built and others that were deepened. I had the opportunity to build relationships with people that I would not have otherwise. One of the greatest parts of it were the meals. There were only about 60 students training for orientation and we all ate together. It wasn't weird to sit down at a table with people who weren't your closest friends. It felt natural! The community that we built within that week is astonishing. Or we would hang out in between meetings and just laugh and it'd be like we've all been friends for a lifetime. And they are so supportive! I don't even know how many times I would find one of them during orientation and ask for advice or check in and they would provide so much comfort. I'm so thankful for the community and friendship that we built. Crazy.
But the crazier thing is that I can't believe how much a year can make a difference. The person that I was a year ago is not the person I am today-which is both good and bad. A year ago, I was a girl who desperately wanted to go home, questioned her decision to leave her comfort zone, struggled with the adjustment, and found college was not what she had expected. But now, things have drastically changed. I feel so much more comfortable at school and have wonderful friends and I love every (okay, MOST) moment of it.
When I would talk about my school with my friends or family, I often found myself putting on a mask and telling people that everything was great. And it was-just not what I wanted and expected. And I resisted from really loving and experiencing it. I think part of the reason was because I have a home, wonderful family and friends, and my entire life back in Minnesota and it was hard to accept that I could be happy without all of that.
I do love my school, and I did love it a lot last year, but I did struggle a lot with it. I constantly compared it to my high school and I missed my comfort zone. I missed the familiarity. Last year was everything that I could have hoped for don't get me wrong, but it was a roller coaster. I would love to re-live (notice that I didn't say re-do) my freshman year because it was a lot of fun. But I know that this year (and the following years) is going to be even more incredible.
Anyway, when I came back to campus, there was a switch. Well, more of an acceptance. I accepted, actually, I allowed myself to truly love my school for all of its quirks and challenges. I love the campus, the professors, and the community. I am proud of my school and the people that attend it. And I realized that I had changed so much as a person.
So, life's a funny thing. One minute you can be prepared to write a post about negativity and the next you are in the basement with some of your very best friends doing homework and having a grand time. I don't know what's gonna happen next. I don't know what new adventure awaits or what challenges are in store. All I know is that I have grown so much as a person in the past year and I'm so thankful for it.
Hope you all have a great day and enjoyed another choppy (and fairly distracted) post.
Love,
Katie
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