Taking a Risk

Hellooooooooooooooooooooo, viewerssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!

I figured my greeting could be spiced up a little bit. How are you all on this fine Sunday? As I mentioned previously, autumn is in the air! And it makes me so happy. I hope that all of you guys are taking advantage of the lovely weather and drinking lots of hot apple cider for me.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time today, but I just wanted to let you all know that I did something WAY out of my comfort zone (granted it was a calculated idea, but nonetheless). I was reflecting on my life recently and felt that I needed to leave my safety bubble and do something a little more risky (within reason, of course). Last time I did something like that was when I cut off 10 inches of my hair and donated it, but that was years ago. (And because I'm me, all of my "risky decisions" aren't actually risky and they are something that I've been thinking about for a few years.)

Then I started thinking about fear and how some of my stupid fears take so much control over my life. And I wanted to conquer one of those fears, just laugh in its face, and show that it doesn't have any more power over me. So I did. I got my ears pierced. (Okay, just a friendly reminder to all of you: I am EXTREMELY afraid of needles. Even thinking of them will throw me into a state of panic and I become irrational and freak out. So the fact that I WILLINGLY had needles put into my ears is kind of a big deal (Yes, I know that it's not even a needle, but c'mon, give me so credit!).)

I've been thinking about getting them done since I was about 10, but I kept pushing it off later and later. My friends tried to get me to do it after prom my senior year, but the morning of, I had a huge panic attack, freaked out hard core, and bailed last minute. So, being almost 20 (that is absolutely terrifying to think about), I decided to do it. It was rebellious (not really) and spontaneous (sort of).

I'm actually still in shock that I decided to do this. It's something that I normally wouldn't do, but I did. And I'm kind of patting myself on the back because I decided to leave my comfort zone and do something different (or I'm looking in the mirror thinking, "Oh my, what did I do?!").

It's kind of crazy for me to think about. I can't believe that I actually did it, but I'm also curious as to what I'll do next. Who knows, maybe I'll get a tattoo! (Just kidding, that's absolutely crazy to do right now. I'd probably have a heart attack the minute I started driving there.) My dear viewers, I have one suggestion for all of you for this week, month, or rest of the year: take a (calculated) risk and do something new! You never know what may happen.

Love,

Katie

Why So Serious?

Hi, gorgeous (and possibly imaginary) people that read my blog!

I hope that all of you are doing fairly well and have been enjoying the lovely weather! (Ya know what I noticed? I talk about the weather a lot...Like, noticeably a lot. But, to my defense, I'm Minnesotan and the weather is kind of a big conversation topic, so...) Fall is my favorite season because it's still super nice outside, the leaves are changing, pumpkin flavored everything, sweaters, hot apple cider, all that fun stuff.

I have about a billion blog ideas bouncing around in my head and I'm trying to determine which one I want to share with you today. (Of course, you need to be prepared for the idea to not come off as effortless or smooth as one would hope.) Some of my ideas need more work and time that I simply don't have, so instead I'm going to write about a characteristic that I have and why I've been thinking about it so often recently.

All righty, here it goes: I'm a serious person. I struggle to let myself relax and take a deep breath and have fun. I struggle accepting my mistakes and reminding myself that the world will not end if blank does or doesn't happen. I find that when I'm doing a project for a class or something that I tend to direct the conversation to the project and don't give time to laugh or have things flow in a different direction. And even at work! I currently started a new job at school and it is extremely relaxed, which is super weird after coming from a high stress summer job. I'm struggling trying to loosen up and accept that there doesn't need to be a certain and specific way to do something and that if it happens, it happens. It's so bizarre! It's not that I'm not enjoying my job or that I'm not having fun, but that I'm so concerned and focus on doing it RIGHT that I forget that it's okay for a job to be low-key.

And then I struggle with being too serious with people, too. When I meet people, I (like everybody else) put on my best face and make things comfortable (or something close to it) and build a relationship of some sort with them. It doesn't take long, however, for me to become serious and get focused on the task.

It's hard for me to joke around and kid with other people, too. Especially if I'm still building a relationship with them. It's hard for me to loosen up and joke. (Plus I'm SUPER awkward with people, so yay for that.) And even if I try to joke with someone, it feels forced or awkward...

I'm trying to understand when I became so serious. All I can think of is that it's simply genetics and how I was raised. My parents (who you will learn more about in future blogs) are pretty awesome and even though we've definitely had our disagreements, I'm really lucky to have them. They're both relaxed and are (fairly) go with the flow, but there is an underlying tone of seriousness. It's more common with my dad, but I know it's with my mom, too. It's not necessarily bad or hurtful, but a mindset of what is expected of me. (I always feel like when I talk negatively about someone that it means they're a bad person, but they're not! My parents are fantastic people and I am so thankful to have them, but they have pushed me to work hard and succeed. And they have also reminded me to have fun, too! My father's favorite phrase is: "All work and no play makes Katie a dull girl.") Or maybe because I'm the oldest child and I always took on the responsibility and have kept that mentality ever since. Either way, it kinda sucks being serious all the time and it sucks not being able to turn it off.

However, when I do get comfortable with people and we have a really solid relationships, then it's fine and then I'm not so serious (well, at least I hope so). I know it's just one of my (numerous and very odd and kind of twisted) quirks, but it's me. It's something I can't change, only accept and work with. It's just something that I have been thinking a lot about recently and have been wondering more about it.

Have a great week!

Love,

Katie

Life's a Funny Thing

Happy Thursday!

Guess what, friends? It is BEAUTIFUL outside! Sunny, hot, humid (not a fan (I made a joke, did someone else get that?!)), and absolutely lovely. So, being Katie, I sat outside and did my homework at my picnic table. (Yes, I do have a picnic table that I have claimed because it's in a perfect spot and I love it.) Of course, being Katie, I got burned, but it was so worth it! And who doesn't love embarrassing and awkward tan lines?! 

This post was going to be about negativity, but I'm in a really good mood, so instead we're gonna do a reflection about how crazy life is/the last year. I was nervous and anxious about returning back to school after being gone for a while and it brought back a lot of stress. After being back on campus and beginning training for orientation, I realized how silly those fears were. 

Training for orientation was incredible. (Okay, minus all of the meetings and seminars that we had in preparation for it...)  The other orientation leaders were so open and friendly and there were so many relationships that were built and others that were deepened. I had the opportunity to build relationships with people that I would not have otherwise. One of the greatest parts of it were the meals. There were only about 60 students training for orientation and we all ate together. It wasn't weird to sit down at a table with people who weren't your closest friends. It felt natural! The community that we built within that week is astonishing. Or we would hang out in between meetings and just laugh and it'd be like we've all been friends for a lifetime. And they are so supportive! I don't even know how many times I would find one of them during orientation and ask for advice or check in and they would provide so much comfort. I'm so thankful for the community and friendship that we built. Crazy.

But the crazier thing is that I can't believe how much a year can make a difference. The person that I was a year ago is not the person I am today-which is both good and bad. A year ago, I was a girl who desperately wanted to go home, questioned her decision to leave her comfort zone, struggled with the adjustment, and found college was not what she had expected. But now, things have drastically changed. I feel so much more comfortable at school and have wonderful friends and I love every (okay, MOST) moment of it. 

When I would talk about my school with my friends or family, I often found myself putting on a mask and telling people that everything was great. And it was-just not what I wanted and expected. And I resisted from really loving and experiencing it. I think part of the reason was because I have a home, wonderful family and friends, and my entire life back in Minnesota and it was hard to accept that I could be happy without all of that. 

I do love my school, and I did love it a lot last year, but I did struggle a lot with it. I constantly compared it to my high school and I missed my comfort zone. I missed the familiarity. Last year was everything that I could have hoped for don't get me wrong, but it was a roller coaster. I would love to re-live (notice that I didn't say re-do) my freshman year because it was a lot of fun. But I know that this year (and the following years) is going to be even more incredible. 

Anyway, when I came back to campus, there was a switch. Well, more of an acceptance. I accepted, actually, I allowed myself to truly love my school for all of its quirks and challenges. I love the campus, the professors, and the community. I am proud of my school and the people that attend it. And I realized that I had changed so much as a person. 

So, life's a funny thing. One minute you can be prepared to write a post about negativity and the next you are in the basement with some of your very best friends doing homework and having a grand time. I don't know what's gonna happen next. I don't know what new adventure awaits or what challenges are in store. All I know is that I have grown so much as a person in the past year and I'm so thankful for it. 

Hope you all have a great day and enjoyed another choppy (and fairly distracted) post. 

Love, 

Katie