Just thinking

Hi friends!

How are all of you this fine Thursday? I hope that all of you are having a lovely day so far! My day, in case you are curious (which I'm assuming you are because you're reading this awesome blog), has been interesting. It's the second day of spring semester classes and it's weird to think that I've been at school for nearly 6 months. The classes this semester don't seem bad (knock on wood), but they look like a lot of work.

Anyway, this past weekend I had the opportunity to go home (which is always really nice). It's really nice to go back to a familiar life (I try to avoid saying "normal" or "old" because that makes me so sad. First off, my college life is my normal life now (which is bittersweet to think about) and second off, thinking that it is "old" makes me really, really sad). I love having the chance to go home and sleep in my own bed, see my family, see friends, eat non-Commons food (although our school food isn't bad, actually), and just be back home.

I've been thinking a lot about going to a school in a different state (granted it's only 4 hours away), especially when I go home. I do have friends that went to school in the state and only live about 20 minutes away, so they have the convenience to go home as they please. I'm not gonna lie: I'm a little envious of them and their ability to go home whenever they want. However, I also know that I wouldn't have some of the awesome memories or incredible friends if I lived close by and went home frequently.

There's a part of me that does wonder what it'd be like if I chose to go to my other dream school that I was debating to go to. But it's not a bad, it's simply out of curiosity. I wonder how different my college experience would be and if I would've found friends like the friends I have here. But, more importantly, I wonder if I would be happy. (Long story short, about two years ago I went through a rough few months where I wasn't happy and was in a very dark place. After that, I vowed to myself that I would always do my best to be happy and spread the happiness to others. So, I've begun to place my own happiness above most things because I fear that one day I will go back to that place. And I don't know if I will be able to overcome it. (Not that I'm worried that that'll happen in the following weeks or anything, but it's something that I worry about sometimes.)) SO! I wonder what it would be like if I went there instead.

(Like I just got off the phone with my aunt and when I talk to my family or see pictures of my dog and I really wish that I was able to go back home for a few minutes. And if I were back home (or nearby), I'd be able to see them often and it'd make me happy.)

But I don't regret coming here. Not at all, actually! I love it here and I love the school and I love the friends I've made and I'm so thankful for everything that's happened to me! I feel that I've grown so much while I've been here. I feel like an adult(ish).

I'm sorry if this is kind of ranting or babbling. (I'm sitting in this dayroom with friends as I'm trying to post to all of you lovely people, but that's easier said than done.) I was going to talk about speech and how hard it is going back to see my speechies and how much I miss them, but I think I'll save that for another time.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love,

Katie