Fear

Guys!

Guess what?!?!?! I got my new laptop! Her name is Loretta 2.0 and she is amazing! (Granted, I don't really know how to use her much and I still need to customize her to make her look pretty, but other than that, she's great!) Sometimes I press something and a totally new screen or something will come up or a new function will happen and I'll have to figure what I did exactly...And, as you know, I'm not really good at technology at all, but I am determined to understand her without any help (Yes, I don't think that I'll last very long either...). There are so many features on her and I'm so excited to goof around and see everything she does, but I wanna keep her looking nice and pretty, too.

Now that I'm done bragging about Loretta, let's talk about something we all have: fear. Now, c'mon, be honest here; we all have fears. It could be fear of needles, sharks, feet, you name it. It's natural for us to have them. Why? I believe it's to remind us that we are not invincible.

Anyway, I believe that there are 2 (okay, technically 3) kinds of fears. The one that causes curl-up in a ball, punches us in the gut, and forces us to scream, cry, yell, puke, etc. when we even think about facing it.Then there's the one that's not really a fear, more of a strong dislike of something...And then there's the fear that really limits us. We're not scared of it necessarily, we're scared of the outcomes it may bring; scared of the unknown.

Fear limits us. When we're scared, we don't allow ourselves to do the things we want to because we're afraid of the obstacles ahead of us. I can't tell you how many opportunities I've missed or ducked out on because I'm scared of what could happen. I create all of these insane scenarios that aren't accurate in the slightest. And ya know what happens when we do stuff like that? We miss out.

For me, I'm super afraid of needles. Like, DEATHLY afraid of them. If I see a needle, hear stories about needles, or anything that involves needles, I get really freaked out. And going to the doctor to get shots...SUCKS! When I know I'm about to get a shot, I start hyper-ventilating, usually end up sobbing, and blurt out anything and everything that comes to mind to try to get me out of getting a shot. It's bad.

And you're probably thinking, "But, Katie? How does your fear of needles limit you? (Minus the obvious.)" Well, you see, trusty reader, I want a tattoo. (It's crazy, I know.) But-one day-I would like to get a white ichthus on my ankle. (And maybe get "Happy" on the back of my shoulder. But that's a different story.) But besides the tattoo(s), I'd also like to give blood. I've been told on more than one occasion that I have good veins to give blood (uhhhh...thank you...?). But because I turn into a blob of jello every time I see a needle, this dream crashes and burns very quickly.

I'm working on eliminating my fears, but it's easier said than done. When I was trying to make up my mind for college, I kept letting my fear get the better of me. I had two options for school. I had my dream school in South Dakota and my other dream school close to home. I could go to South Dakota and know absolutely no one, or I could stay close to everyone I knew. I was scared of not knowing anyone and being so far away; I nearly let my fear win. But, by some miracle, I looked at my fear rationally (because, believe it or not, I have a tendency to be a tad over dramatic when I get scared, stressed out, anxious, etc. (I know, this shocked me, too)), accepted it, and decided to take this leap of faith and go to South Dakota for college.

(Jeez, I apologize for that rant. Where on earth did that come from anyway?) But, long story short: fear limits us. It limits our possibilities, opportunities, dreams. It forces us to stay in our comfort zone. Fear isn't all bad, either. It allows us to see how far we can push ourselves; it makes us see how strong we truly are.

So, my beloved readers, if there is one thing I want you to take away from this ranty post, it's this: don't let fear control your life. Do one thing that scares you and see what happens.

Love,

Katie