So I consider myself to be a pretty happy person with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, I do have my moments when I get super stressed out and end up going on an emotional (and very moody) roller coaster ride. But for the most of the time, I try to have a good attitude.
Today, however, I can't seem to keep a smile on my face or an upbeat attitude. I feel like a horrible person and completely empty at the same time. There is this aching feel in my chest and the possibility that I may burst into tears at any moment. I keep having people look at me and ask me what happened and I tell them the same thing and there is this stabbing feeling in my chest as the words leave my mouth. Then I get their pity and awkward pat on my shoulder and I'm being told, "You did the right thing."
Did I?
I did this to myself. I'M the one who chose to end it. Why do I feel like a horrible human?
I always thought that I was strong. That I was this rock that refused to break, but now I feel like I'm slowly cracking. I thought that I could take whatever life threw at me and that I could handle it. I guess I'm wrong.
So now I'm sitting in the school library, scrolling through sad things on Pinterest, and listening to One Direction (Don't judge me. I love them and will marry all five of them.) I have one request if anyone is out there: send me good vibes today. Please. I never knew that it would be this hard. I just need to get through today and things will get better.
Love,
Katie
P.S. I can kinda be a drama queen, so if this comes off as overly dramatic and you roll your eyes, I do apologize.
P.S.S. I saw this on Twitter and had to screenshot it because it perfectly sums up how I feel right now.
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