Who can believe that summer is almost over?! I can't believe how fast it went. (I mean, it always go fast, don't get me wrong, but this summer it felt like it went by even faster. (Which makes me wonder if life is just going faster and faster because I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I turn 20 in a few months and that I'm a college sophomore. I mean, seriously! Where has the time gone?!)) The good news, though, is that I was able to be outside in the sun a lot and that made me super happy. Today, though, it's rainy and a little chilly, but perfect movie watching and book reading weather. (In case anyone is curious-which I'm sure you are-I'm watching The Lion King, a personal favorite.)
On a different note, I go back to school this weekend; which is bittersweet. I love my school and I have wonderful friends, but I'm still undeclared (I know, I know, I need to declare something asap). I'm helping out with Welcome Week/Orientation and my partner is one of my closet friends at school, so that's going to be a lot of fun. I love all of the opportunities that are offered at school and there is so much to do, but I love home and everything that it has. College is a lot of fun with the freedom and the events offered, but I have mixed feelings about my classes and I'm not really sure what lies ahead (there were some high tensions and unnecessary drama at the end of last year)...
I know that this semester is going to be different than last year for a lot of reasons, but I still hope that things are going to be the same. I have a year of college under my belt, so I know what to expect, but I know that things are going to be different (new dorm, new schedule, etc.). I'm looking forward to it, but I'm still a little anxious.
Plus, there are a whole heck of a lot of goodbyes (and I hate goodbyes). I'm saying goodbye to a lot of my friends and trying to spend time with them, but there are a lot of goodbyes. And then I have to say goodbye to my family, which is probably one of the hardest goodbyes. It's among the goodbyes to my grandparents and aunt that I begin to freak out because I feel like I should've spent more time with them and then I kick myself for being selfish and not going out to lunch with them or stopping by for an hour or so. My heart begins to pound into my chest and I try not to burst into tears (again, people, I am extremely emotional sometimes) because I don't want to say goodbyes and I don't want to leave them. I love my college and am looking forward to going back, but I also love my life back at home and don't want to leave either.
When you're raised in an environment where family is emphasized as one of the most important and valuable things in your life, it's hard to pack up and leave, even though you have to do what's best for you. I have been so lucky to have a wonderful, loving family that extends beyond my parents and siblings. I've built such a strong relationship with them and they have always been some of my biggest supporters in my life and I have no idea how I would've survived without them. But that makes it so hard to leave them back home while I choose to go back to school in a different state.
Today, for example, I went out to lunch with my aunt and as we were eating, I begin to realize that I'm leaving soon and won't see her until October. I realized that I should've called her more, taken her out to dinner more, gone to the pool with her, etc. And as we hugged goodbye, I wanted to cry because I didn't realize how many times I missed an opportunity to spend time with her. Same thing with my grandparents as I said goodbye to them last night. (I'm trying to find time to see them again this week (same with my aunt) before I leave. But I don't know yet...)
Which brings me back to my Tuesday afternoon watching The Lion King and a whole lot of mixed emotions as I'm trying to enjoy my final week at home. I know that everything is going to be okay, but, right now, it's just hard to leave.
Thanks for reading my blog, friends. You guys are awesome.
Love,
Katie
P.S. And because I am now become a teary-eyed mess, I saw this on Pinterest and knew that I needed to post it because it's perfect and is a wonderful reminder as I leave my family.
